still sad with my result :(

i can only sigh for the time being..

my spm result had been a ticket for my dad to give me very torn advice that makes me feel sad until tears fall..

he was so disappointed with me, his bright lil girl didnt manage to get a flying colour just like upsr and pmr exam...

im not that bright student anymore, who every year go to stage and receive prizes..i miss that defining moment, dad look so proud to see me..but this year, i disappointed him..im sorry, i know i have let you down..eventhough so many people tell me my result is okay and i dont need to be sad about it..but i still do feel sad about my result,its not a flying colour result..

he was mad, telling me how immature i was for not listening to him before..yeah because i was very quite memberontak , kuat main and all that kan..

my interest to study as i was in form 5 going down to a very low rate because science subjects were killing me and i felt like give up..i didnt study really hard for my spm and i ended up getting all C's in my science subject, KOTOH to me..now dad, you can tell me 'I TOLD YOU SO' for thousand times and ill accept that with teary eyes because thats the ugly truth that i have to accept with an open heart and positive mind.

on the first week of the spm exam, everything went very well, second week , i began to get weak..and the final week, i didnt care anymore about the exam..it was all science subjects on the third week and i went like 'just do it', apa yang sy merepek tu,ntahlah..

so yeah, result came out and i went like biasa saja until my dad knew bout it...sy dapat rasa kekecewaan yang teramat sangat.. sepa juga ibu bapa yang tidak suka tingu anak da berjaya kan..so, tulah sy rasa macam sy suda kasih kecewa dorang ne..

tapi biarlah, semua pun sudah terjadi, all i can do now is keep on moving..but i never want to repeat my spm exam tho!! biarlah ini jadi pengajaran, nanti sy akan buat dengan lebih baik lagi...

*dear Lord, do bless this child in choosing the right path in future...

p/s: ill listen to my dad more after this..