a bit confuse with my future

I wanna scream as loud as i can!!!aaagghhh!!

I'm still confuse with my future ,i don't know where should o go eventhough i know there are a lot of opportunities waiting for me outside..

The problem is, what i should be is not what i want and thats really hard..

My dad always told me to be this and that, cannot go there cannot go here and yeah i'm very good girl and always listen to them.

But now it's going to be me who gonna live for my future and not them.

My real dream is to go travel all around the world . To achieve this, i can be a flight attendent! But my dad never ever gonna allow me to take stewardess as my carrier. But i want it, like so badly..

The second problem is, if i become a flight attendent, i won't have the chance to further study just like what my parents want me to be..they want me to have a stable and profesional job such as teacher or vaterinar . But i wanna do something that i enjoy, i'm more to practical than theory..huhuhu..i'm confuse with myself..Matriculation, UPM and SPA are all look very hard and stress and IDK if i can handle it or not. I'm not smart like others eventhough i know i can still struggle there. Form 5 pun sy rasa stress suda pasal semua sains sains ne ,apa lagi step up to another level..matai na yan..

There will be a flight attendant interview at Sutera Harbour this 23rd april, i'm still thinking whether i should go for it or not..

There will also an Unduk Ngadau selection this 16 april.

I don't really have the confident to join it as a matter of fact. I can't really speak dusun fluently and i don't think i have that sweet smile where a UN contestents should have since my teeth bukannya lurus sangat pun,hahaha.

Anyway, there will someone who's willing to sponsor my make up and hair and the only thing left is my outfit and ehem ehem,cara jalan..ahhaha.

But we'll see, law sy menang!!huiyo!!hahaha.gila eh, mungkin first round suda kalah pasal gigi senget!hahaha.

anyway, my future seems to be lil bit confusing..

but still,

i will never gonna stop chasing my dreams..

God just testing me, i can do it! ^^

xoxo deidre.